Magnificent Warriors Is More Fun Than You
Let’s get that bad stuff out of the way first. My God, dubbing a movie should not be this hard. Their lips move a consistent half second behind their words and my brain keeps having to resume its suspension of disbelief. That’s it. That’s the knock. Because this movie is pure corny, kooky joy.
Magnificent Warriors is a 1987 Chinese film that is among the greatest movies I’ve ever seen. It’s like top 50-75, don’t freak out. Yeah it’s not “good” like Oppenheimer or Pulp Fiction or Blue Velvet but it’s a good, fun filled movie that has everything you could realistically want in an 80s martial-arts film relegated to Tubi. The characters are fun, the action is great and creative and the dialogue is hilarious. The plot is clean and well constructed. I enjoyed every minute of it. It never felt too long, nor did it feel too short and it never felt boring. It’s got a prime Michelle Yeoh and some other fun actors who didn’t do much afterwards but were honestly great in this movie. It felt like a knock off of both Star Wars and Indiana Jones, but it really set itself apart from both by the end.
So here’s the lowdown- Michelle Yeoh is like a badass whose grandpa is a retired army dude for the Chinese army. It’s set in the mid 30s when Japan was invading China and really making shit tough for them. The Japanese have occupied this city, Kaa Yi, and are trying to manufacture chemical weapons (this was before they made TVs, Nintendo’s and Playstations obviously so they were basically the villains in this era). They’ve got the Prince, Youda, under their thumb. But the Chinese have a secret agent “Sky Blue” who is supposed to meet up with Michelle Yeoh and give her some information. Michelle Yeoh, in addition to being a martial-arts master, arms dealer and general badass, is also an expert pilot, so the Chinese Army gets her to fly in and meet this guy. Only this plan fails when a drifter conman whose character is listed as “Drifter Conman” pretends to be Sky Blue to get rescued because he’s pissed off the locals with his grifting. We also meet nepo baby Chin Chin, who is a glorified princess because she is the Prince’s girlfriend and the General’s daughter.
Chin Chin is very attractive and is also a badass, albeit in more of a “princess who knows karate” way. This contrasts delightfully with her man Prince Youda who is a huge wimp. Michelle Yeoh and Drifter end up being rescued from some Japanese agents by the real Sky Blue…and then the plot to save Kaa Yi begins. It’s a delightful and exciting tale, with flourishes of Lucas and Spielberg in its narrative arcs. The way the movie flows from set piece to set piece feels very organic and every encounter feels unique and different, even as it leans into classic action tropes such as “the escape from a bad place”, “the rescue”, “the moment when it seems all is lost” and of course, “the final battle.” It’s also extremely funny and the characters are by and large very likable and distinct. Even the bad guys have their moments.
What makes Magnificent Warriors work so well is that it is precisely aware of what it is. It’s a movie that isn’t trying to reinvent the wheel, it’s simply a very good wheel. It’s not Casablanca but drunk or sober you can watch it and say “That was a good movie. I might watch it again sometime.” which is by and large the best review a movie can hope for. I mean, believe me, I thought Eraserhead was a good movie, but I won’t be watching it again sometime. I don’t even know what happened the first time. Magnifient Warriors keeps it simple and that’s why it’s a great film. It doesn’t force itself into spaces it doesn’t belong and it doesn’t meander when it knows motion is it’s best capital. It keeps the action and the jokes flowing and let’s the viewer sit back and have a good time. Sure you could nitpick, but when can’t you. It’s a movie for people who love movies, who are intrigued by them.
For a solid week after watching this movie I tried to put my finger on exactly why it worked so well. After a while I realized exactly why. Because it’s simply good. There’s no fluff, no frills and no feathers. It’s a tour de force of focus and an ode to convention, to doing the right things right and playing it simple. Even the risks it take are calculated, from the archetype choices to the somewhat surprising ending. I adored this move and I think if you enter with an open mind you probably will too. It’s refreshing, a guaranteed palate cleanser regardless of whatever you’ve been watching lately. I myself couldn’t believe how good it was until I watched it again and yes, we do have a winner. Magnificent Warrior is totally on Tubi now and if you have an hour and a half to spare and just want to watch some martial arts and have a good time….why not give it a spin?
