Crescent 9 THC Seltzer Review
We’re back with yet another THC beverage review. We like to get high here at Ego Clown “legally” (cough, cough) and people should know how these drinks are before they spend their hard earned money. And this one, Crescent 9 THC, is pretty damn good. It’s refreshing but has flavor. The high is pleasant and definitely impactful. The branding and design is sleek, modern and discreet(for what that’s worth). It’s also only 40 calories, not terrible on the sugar and is vegan, if you like stuff like that. It’s got a lot of upside, not least of which is the price and dosage. I got a four pack of these for $16. That’s roughly the same as the Howdy THC Sweet Tea, but the dosage of these is 10 mg as opposed 5 mg. That’s double the bang for your buck and these taste better.
There’s a lot that this seltzer gets fundamentally right in my opinion. It may not have the personality of Howdy, but Crescent 9 definitely feels like it could break more mainstream. The flavor is more distinct and tasty. The aesthetic of the brand leans into seltzer culture but remains uni-sex in it’s appeal. No one is gonna make fun of you for drinking these. It’s relatively straightforward with what it is, but it’s not over the top with psychedelic imagery. You could bring this to the park while you walk your dog and no one would assume you’re getting high. It’s also, as I’ve expressed, very potent but not overwhelming. You’re gonna get high from one of these. You won’t question if you got your money’s worth because the dosage is perfect.
But let’s grade this seltzer:
PRICE: 10/10-4 for $16, 10 mg dose per can
Considering what the overall market for these drinks looks like, these are very well priced. They taste good, they’re not reasonably healthy and they have double the dosage of many other THC drinks, often for a similar price. It’s just a no brainer. You get more bang for you buck with these and the bang that you get is very good.
FLAVOR: 10/10
Yeah, it tastes great. It’s everything you want in a seltzer. Refreshing, subtle but still strongly carrying that processed watermelon flavor, with sour overtones. If you like watermelon drinks and seltzers, this won’t be a surprise to you. It’s not terribly unique but it does everything right in this department. I also think that seltzers as THC drinks are actually a brilliant combo because it gets around the common problem where drinking too many carbonated drinks, ie. seltzers, can make you feel bloated or bad in general, because with a THC seltzers, you’re gonna have two at most.
HIGH: 9/10
It’s not a perfect high. It can lean towards sleepy or psychoactive and doesn’t provide great balance but it definitely works. You will be chilled out one way or another. Things will be more funny. You’re gonna have a good time most of the time and the other times will still be interesting. What more can you really ask for? I also think the 10 mg dosage is a great size that can really affect new users but still affect people with a good tolerance. Unlike the Howdy Sweet Tea, I don’t have concerns that if I had a substantial tolerance, one of these would be wasting $4. These will work regardless of your experience with THC, the mileage will simply vary a little bit.
BRANDING/AESTHETIC: 9/10
These things are nice to look at. I like the slim can. As I’ve said before, it definitely has many aesthetic elements we associate with seltzers but it doesn’t play towards any particular demographic. The can design itself is clean and simple but not stark in it’s simplicity. The design elements feel natural and not overbearing, which, with THC products can be common.
OVERALL: 9.5/10
Crescent 9 Sour Watermelon is a very good THC beverage and a very good seltzer. It’s got a good price and a fair dose, all for only 40 calories. The high is versatile and strong. The flavor profile is consistent and well balanced between watermelon, sour and the selzter elements. The Crescent 9 can and box also look nice and are well designed, with a lean towards simplicity and discretion. It’s the total package and really has a lot of promise going forward in my opinion. So if you see these for sale while out and about, know that they do work, they should be a reasonable price and they are tasty. So if you’re interested in THC drinks, you should try them.
